"When I was a little baby"

These are words that Elizabeth speaks frequently. Things like "when I was a little baby, I had a bottle", "when I was a little baby, I cried". Sometime in the middle of the night last night, Elizabeth came to our room and said "When I was a little baby I cried". I asked why were you crying? To which she replied "because I needed you and you weren't there". It broke my heart. I'm so sure there were many times that she cried needing a mommy to hold her, feed her, change her, or just acknowledge that she was there and had no one. I'm so thankful now that she can call out or walk across the hall and find a mommy that will be there for her.

She has changed this last month. Bonding and attachment that I know started on that long plane ride home has morphed into something so beautiful lately. I told John a couple of nights ago that she now looks at me the way I can remember looking at my Mom. She's always been a love the one you're with kind of girl. Lately though its changed. There's a real understanding of Mom and Dad. She misses us when we are not with her. She'll lately say things like "I'm worried about Daddy. Can I call him?" Two and a half years it has taken to get to this point. I'll admit we get into coast mode at times, but then things will happen and I realize the impact of two years in an orphanage. I read other's blogs. I understand the difficulties. There were patterns layed down in those early years that we as parents spend years reprogramming. Bless their hearts and souls!

Now on to updates.

Elizabeth is growing, developing, and still very much a drama queen. This drama queen thing is hard to parent. Its not just drama over punishments and or not getting her way. Its drama about life. Acting, singing, you name it. Its a hard balance. Wanting her to be a kid - carefree, while teaching her respect for others and understanding her environment.

She is still loving her pre-K. She was the snack helper today. She thinks this is the greatest thing ever. Academically she is doing great. Just where she needs to be. However, socially she is still behind - the drama queen thing. Therefore, we are not going to start her in kindergarten this fall. We'll instead, send her to pre-K 5 mornings a week. Not only is she behind socially, but she is still small and is hungry all the time. I need her to grow some more before she goes to school all day.

She still loves her tap and ballet classes -drama queen thing again. I love her dance classes because it's doing exactly what I had hoped. It gives her another adult that has rules to follow. Hopefully this will help the social aspect of her delay.

Bed time has become such a joy again. Leaving my nursing career has really had a wonderful impact on my family. Elizabeth, most nights will go to sleep with out all the drama we dealt with last summer and fall. We are a happier family and that makes leaving my nursing career worth it!

She wears me out most days and is the GREATEST love of my life!