Distance...greater for some, much less for others.

Oh, how life is ever changing.  The basics of our life stay the same.  We live in the same house, sleep in the same beds, go about our day much the same way we have for a long time now.  But the same it's not.  We grow each day - grow in understanding - grow in love - pushing the distance from what was to what is.  Each day I remember and am grateful for the gifts of my life.  The gift of my daughter.  As the days pass, the distance to Teremok grows.  We have our daughter home - our home -her home.  Simply a home made up of a father, mother, and daughter.  This is our life changing slowly as the days go by.  Grateful is what I am.  Simply Grateful! But for Elizabeth the distance to Teremok doesn't seem that far away.  Just this week, Elizabeth was sitting on John's lap explaining that she had not been very nice to me that day.  John listening and asking the right questions, offering a stern voice of disapproval as any good father would do.  Then came the face and the words. She was actually choking out the words as her face dropped and the tears started. "Do I have to leave?"  John asked leave where honey.  "Leave here" as she picked her hands up and moved them around indicating our home, tears still falling. NO NO NO NO NO NEVER!! John didn't know what to say, I busted out crying instantly.  I will never forget as long as I live how scared and sad she looked.  One of a mother's many jobs is to make her child (ren) feel secure and somehow - if not but a brief moment - my child didn't.  Didn't feel secure in her own home!  Hell she didn't even feel like it was HER home.  My heart hurts like its never hurt before.  God Bless her and all the children who have unsettling starts.  She's been with us so much longer than without us, but I guess her past is still present.  I hope with all my heart that she NEVER EVER feels that particular feeling ever again.